Please ignore the mess. I was waiting on a charity to come pick up the bags of clothes. =]

After everything happened, I took a pole fitness class in Kwun Tong.

Pole fitness was something I had always wanted to try. A friend of mine in the US was doing it, and it really looked like fun. I never really did anything like that because it costs so much. I couldn’t justify spending that money on myself. After I caught him, I stopped worrying about spending the money. He had spent my money and held his money for himself and spent it on hotel rooms for his girlfriend(s?).

Going to that first class was horrible. It was sort of a traumatic experience for me because my husband had just told me how attracted to Asian women he was after I caught him cheating with a local woman.It was all tiny, young, gorgeous Asian women. Here I was, the one overweight, old, white woman. I knew I didn’t fit in there, but I did it anyway. I wasn’t going to let him take that from me.

It was once a week on Saturdays for 2 hours. I went each time. During this time, I was experiencing a lot of medical issues. One of those being vertigo. I had to take motion sickness medication before going to class to be able to do the spins and turns. I missed one class because I moved me and the kids. Then I missed the “show” because there was no way I was going to do that in front of an audience.

That was hard. The teacher kept telling me to bring my husband to see the show. All I could think was I wouldn’t be the one he was looking at. She wanted me to video myself as well. I never did. I never wanted to show him. I was so ashamed of myself and what I looked like.

After that, I had wanted to get a pole to put in my room so I could do it on my own. B bought one for me shortly after the class ended. He promised he’d put the pole in my new room.

That never happened.

Now I’m in the new new place (for almost a year now) and he finally put it up. I am grateful he did it. I wouldn’t have been able to do it myself. I’m too short. It’s a lot of fun to mess around with.

So now I am working on my core strength. I need to get back into going to the gym. This working half days and working from home half days has really messed with me. We are going back to full days in a couple of weeks though, so maybe some sort of normalcy can be reached.