To Be Betrayed

DISCLAIMER: THIS ISN’T MY WRITING. I saw this on an infidelity support group and thought it was absolutely accurate.

“I feel the need to express this for some reason, and see if this is what happened to all of you.On the day I found out about my stbx’s affair, in the minutes following the beginnings of his admissions, my entire universe genuinely shifted. I remember my hands and feet going completely numb, listening to him through muffled hearing, and the events surrounding every following breath became hyper-pixilated and indelible. When I tried to describe it to my therapist, I said it was as if you were standing there on the 100th floor of a tall, beautiful building, looking out at a gloriously sunny day, and suddenly someone from behind shoved you out the window… you turn just long enough to see it was the person you loved and trusted more than anyone on the planet. Then you proceed to fall in slow motion, all hundred stories, there is nothing you can do — no contorting of mind, body or spirit — which is going to halt it. And even as you hit the ground you are conscious, you are grotesquely aware of your body exploding, every blood splatter, bones smashing, turning into a burst of pin mist. You never get to lose consciousness, though you desperately want to. You just keep existing, in slow motion, in destroyed pieces. And staring down at you from one hundred floors up, is the puzzled, vaguely guilty face of someone who can’t understand why you’ve exploded, and begins insisting you need to put yourself back together again so they don’t have to be reminded of the horror.Or and I just being dramatic?”

-From another betrayed spouse

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