My dear friend at work has been with our school for a year now. She moved to Hong Kong with her husband for his work the year before. So she has only been here around 2 years.

At the end of July, she caught her husband having an emotional affair with a Chinese woman at work. She discovered text messages on his phone.

Much of what followed is much like what I went through. It amazes me that it seems these people who cheat use the same playbook. The blame shifting, the gaslighting, the lies, the delusion. All of it.

Her husband left for a week, saying that he needed time to get his head on straight. He stayed in a hotel. To my friend, he portrayed this person who was remorseful and wanting to work things out. To others, he was acting like a single man. She found out he was out every night drinking. He even joined a dating app to talk to other women.

He ended up coming back and telling her he wanted to make it all right. He attended one counseling session, and he returned saying he wanted to break up.

My friend decided to move out. He started demanding to know her plans and what she was doing. He wanted to know what she was taking. Last week, I went over and helped her pack up.

He didn’t know we were doing it. I was nervous about him showing up, but he didn’t. He was out drinking that night. We were able to get everything she needed out of the flat well before he returned home.

She also had a cat. Because she was staying with a friend, her cat came to stay with us. He was such a sweet thing.

Kitty is going to be staying with us for a little while. I am not a cat person, so it will be interesting to see how this goes.

I feel so much for her. My heart breaks. It hurts because it brings all of that back up for me as well. I want to be the strong one for her, but it is difficult because I’m still dealing with all of this. I feel guilt because I have him still trying to stay while her husband has discarded her. I question if I am being fair because he wants another chance while her husband doesn’t.

I wish I knew what to do.