Last night was the first night B didn’t come for dinner in a while. It was nice. I won’t lie. The problem was it set off all kinds of alarm bells. Alarm bells I don’t think I have the right to have.

I know it’s going to happen. And based on his ultimatums (as such), it will happen sooner rather than later.

He is going to find someone else.

I know it is for the best. I know I need to let him go. I know it’s going to happen. For him, it will happen long before it will happen for me, I’m sure. I know.

Still, it hurts.

It hurts that he will replace me when he gets bored. It hurts that he truly believes that his (physical) needs are the only ones that matter. It hurts that we are even in this place to begin with.

Yesterday, he was at “The School”. This is “The School” I have had people ask me if he was sleeping with someone there multiple times (this was without knowing he had actually betrayed me. Without me knowing he had betrayed me at the time of a couple of them). Why are they asking that? Well, apparently, he is very (VERY) friendly with the EAs there.

Honestly, I know it shouldn’t matter. I need to let it go. The truth is he will find someone. There is nothing I can do to stop that, nor should I.

I need to let go, but it is proving to be harder than I thought.