The first photo is of me about the same time last year. I admit it. I was fat. I had gained a lot of weight. I had been unhappy for a long time about myself and my situation. There was so much going on. So much I felt I was dealing with on my own. So much of the time I felt I was drowning. Everyone else needed something from me, and I had no more left for myself.

Then it all happened. All of it. All at once. My life was shattered into a million tiny pieces by the person I trusted most in my life.

What followed was not done in a healthy manner. I will admit that upfront.

One Week

It all began a week prior to this. And even at this point, I had lost close to 10 pounds already. What followed was wrong. I will not deny that. I spent weeks paranoid of food. I was utterly afraid to eat or drink anything that wasn’t water or fat free/very low calories. People asked me my secret to weight loss. My answer? No sweets or junk food. I didn’t tell them I was basically surviving on a diet of vegetable soup and water.

One Month

These a month after the event, and I had lost around 15-20 pounds. I’m not saying I didn’t need to lose the weight, because I did. But if I am honest, I lost it for all the wrong reasons and in all the wrong ways. I was terrified of eating out. I hated going into restaurants. I think what I ate the most was mashed potatoes at that point.

Three Months (Current)

In the end, within less than 3 months time, I lost 40 pounds. I am much happier with myself, I think. I will be completely honest, when I look in the mirror, I still see the fat me. I take photos of myself a little too much. I think it’s to prove to myself that I have changed.

I still have more to lose, but I need to do it the right way. I need to work on keeping off what I lost. We’ll see what happens.