Love and I met with the educational psychologist after he was able to perform some of his assessments on Monster. His preliminary diagnosis was not all what I expected.
He is recommending a diagnosis of dyslexia (knew that one), ADHD inattentive (I can kind of see that one), and autism spectrum disorder/Asperger (I didn’t see that one coming at all). He seemed very knowledgeable and sincere in his findings. He is also American, so his report has been written in a way that it will be able to cross over to the American school system.
He talked about things he had suggested to the teachers to help here. I’d like to say he doesn’t know what he’s talking about(even though I know that’s not the case), but that is extremely disrespectful to someone who is wholly educated for this and has been doing it for years both here and in the States. So as much as I would love to dismiss him, I know that would be a huge disservice to my Monster.
The professional in me is embarrassed I didn’t see it sooner. The parent in me is ashamed I didn’t push harder when I knew there was something going on. Both of those together make me feel as though I have failed as a human overall.
I go back and forth in my head with regretting bringing her here and being grateful we came here. I regret taking her from friends and family. I regret taking her from the only home she’s ever known. I am grateful she is being identified and finally receiving the help she needs. I am grateful she is part of a school that will provide her with quality interventions. I am grateful I was finally heard and Monster is going to be helped.
So even though Love doesn’t agree with all of what the doctor said, he does recognize Monster needs help (and the doctor was not a complete quack. LOL).
We were so lucky to end up in the school we did. My understanding of special needs services in Hong Kong is extremely limited, but from what I understand, services are extremely hit or miss. The same can be said about the US, but you have recourse. In Hong Kong, there are so few regulations and just about no recourse. So had we been in another school, the story may have been completely different.
I suppose you could argue staying in the US would have been preferable, but she would have remained in her school. I had already fought the school for something and hit tons of resistance. I think this year I would have gotten somewhere because the school psych promised to test her if I still had concerns about her. The problem with that was the decent teacher we had was let go. Monster would have been put with ineffective teacher. I was not okay with that.
I do think this was sort of a blessing. Monster is in a place where she now has to learn how to be part of a whole. In our previous school, she was with the kids she had been with since she was in preschool. She didn’t have to try. She was just part of them. What would have happened when she got to high school and then college? She would have to leave our small town at some point. She would have never been prepared for the real world without this. I (sadly) would not have seen there was an issue with her abilities to find her place in the world. At least now she is learning.
I will say denial is a powerful thing. A very powerful thing….
So I suppose we will see how it all works out. Hopefully, we can put some stuff in place to help her both at home and at school.
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